Destiny is like sailing

The eternal debate between fate and free will has kept more than one of us awake. Even in religion—at least in Catholicism, the culture I was brought up in—there is God Almighty, yet we’re still given free will. So even there, in the thick of belief, things aren’t that clear.

I’m not religious myself, but I do believe in a higher power. I think of it more like a force (not so different from gravity) that pulls us around, maybe in a certain direction. I’m not entirely sure. I’ve just always felt that things have a tendency to happen in ways that feel almost magical.

I know this way of thinking probably comes from a place of privilege. Luck is random, often unfair, and not evenly distributed. But I don’t believe it’s only destiny, fate, or luck. There’s also will. And whether that will is truly free or not… that’s the question.

Lately, I see life a bit like sailing. You can’t control if the wind will blow, or which way it comes from. But you do control what you do with it. You can raise your sails or not, catch the wind or let it pass, and then move—maybe not exactly where you planned, but somewhere your heart still recognizes.

I’m in one of those strange moments of life that mourning forces you into. It makes you rethink what you can control, what you have to let go of, and what’s left when you stop fighting the current. And maybe the only real answer is to focus on what you have right now—whatever it is—and allow yourself to enjoy it. Because like everything else, one day, it will end.

This is for Indiana, who I miss every day.